Today my wonderful girl turned 11.
For last couple of years I haven’t think of the day of her arrival. It’s too emotional and traumatic. From previous posts you know it was chaotic and sudden and I’m far to say it was the most wonderful day of my life. If anything, it was the most scary and confusing.
But today I did get back to it, while holding my big girl in my arms, and I had a good cry.
S. was worried and said it’s her birthday and she doesn’t want anyone to be sad and have a sad tears. But it wasn’t, they were happy tears. I’m so happy to have her in my arms, to witness her growing old, and being able to watch her turning to this amazing little woman she is.
I do remember asking one of the docs while watching her in incubator: will she ever have a normal life? He replied: I don’t know.
Of course he couldn’t day anything else. But you know what? As much as I don’t like the word normal, in lack of any other words – S. does have a normal life. In meaning like any other kid who wasn’t born with very rare life condition. She love art, and dancing. She is creative and caring, sassy, have a great sense of humour. She has friends and meet them, and do everything she wants. Yes, there is a bit of extra care and small restrictions when it comes to daily catheterizations ( every 3-4 hours) and daily washouts. But it doesn’t stop her from anything. She even goes to gymnastics class and like it. And I will do anything and everything to support her.
Last week she took out of her bedroom doll house and asked to get a dressing table, and got herself from saved up birthday money, a Hollywood mirror (the big one with 3 shades lights – make up mirror). Yes, my little girl entering new stage and the rollercoster called puberty. Its going to be interesting 😉
If you are reading it and you are just on the beginning of the road with your newborn baby girl who was both with cloaca : Keep your head up! Your girl is unique and perfect just the way she is. And you will learn to accept it and appreciate her, just the way she is. Because she is a miracle.
Just like my girl is to me. I won’t lie to you- it will be a rocky road, but you got this. We are brave mamas of super strong and resilient girls and we do what we can to support them.
Am I emotional writing all this? Yes I am. But 11 years ago I couldn’t imagine any of this. And If anyone told me how is it going to turn out, how well, I probably wouldn’t believe it. But there she is. AMAZING and most brave girl I know. And I can’t wait to see her growing and support her in coming years. Looking forward to this adventure.
Happy birthday S.! I love you most in the world.